dream and heaven
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: daily thoughts
the other day i had a dream of meeting this cute guy. we both had an interest in eachother. he finally confessed to me that he likes he. it was soooooo cute!!!!!!!!! the image of how it happened was amazing!!!!! it just seems like heaven how it all happened. i've always wanted to be in heaven one day. tngai nah kgnom baan thaow tansaour? my dad had told me that before the day i was born, he dreamt of an angel descending to earth with all the other angels. he said that angel was me. i always felt that i was sent down for a reason. in khmer culture, an angel being sent down to reborn is a negative thing. i have done some mis-deed in the past and have to repay here on earth. my ultimate goal is to go to heaven, where i belong. sounds stupid, but, i think i'm destined for that route. anyways, i'm still thinking bout that cute guy in my dream. hehe!!!!!!!!

just a thought to the charitable junkie.
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: daily thoughts
call me selfish, self-centered...i do like helping out but if u don't help yourself out first, it's a waste of time trying to better others. betterment of society starts from the ground up, within yourself.


all these non-profit jokes aren't worth the time. i'm always willing to give a helping hand if needed but i wouldn't want to be part of the core team. too much drama for my peaceful head. i'll try to avoid conflict whenever possible. drama and all that troublesome non-sense isn't my deal. it's just a thought. nite lollipop.

back on track
Mood:  cheeky
Topic: fantasy thoughts
Ai Otsuka - Dai Sukidayo!

i haven't written in quite awhile so tonight i'm just bored to death and decided to write something for memory sake. yes, the search for the mysterious person is in full force. ^_^ it seemed like forever since we spoke. i'm just a little loony at the moment that's all. trying to kill my boredom with some thoughts. anyways, hehe...it seems like i'm cynical but i'm still searching for the mysterious person. clue on who this mysterious person is...'reconnecting.' i'm just curious to find out the identity. >_< please reveal ur identity. lol. night lollipop!

o, my dream last night was about me traveling to different places. i met this person who was working with an international company who gets to travel as part of their job. i was interested in doing that cuz of the traveling factor. it was interesting. i've always wanted to travel and see different ppl. maybe this is something that my dream is telling me bout the future...i get to see the world at the same time make money. ^_^

keeping everyone on track
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: daily thoughts
updates on my life....


i passed my exam. i'm so glad that it's over. well, one down and two more to go. the exam day was a story to tell. it was early in the morning at 8. i don't normally function in the morning but i made sure i was ready. leading up to the testing day, i study slowly making sure i wouldn't overwhelm myself with all the study. i also made sure i had a good night sleep before that. so, i took everything one step at a time. i'm so happy that it turned out well. :D:D.
my brother said if i passed we would celebrate and so we did. we also celebrated when i got the job. i was excited bout that as well. i'm glad that i never gave up. hehe...if only i have this mindset in my relationship life. o, well, past is past. it doesn't matter. but, i have other good things going for me. i'm happy with that.


so, my family and i went out to eat. hehe...i made the stupid mistake ever. this is my usual mistake, being an idiot sometimes. we were about to sit down and these bus boys came and asked what we would like to drink. and my stupid self ask for a menu...how stupid can u be? it's a buffet!!!!!!!! and u don't need one. the whole time we were there my siblings were making fun of me cuz of that. a good fool i was!!!! yep!

and yesterday, i was at this event. i didn't go til the last 30 minutes. i just wanted to go outside of the house. i'm always at home on the weekend. otherwise, it's going out to shop. and in most cases, it's with my mom or just myself. not exactly exciting but at least i'm outside of the house. so, back to the story. i went to the event so see some cultural show. i wasn't too excited bout it but what the heck, i needed fresh air. i was there and the place was dark. the show was ok. meet a few familiar faces. we're not exactly too familiar with eachother, especially the guys. for some reason, they seem so shy. the girls are open and much more talkative. but, the ppl aren't as open. well, i don't blame them cuz we hardly know eachother. i sometimes feel that i make ppl feel uncomfortable. ppl don't automatically connect with me. maybe it's just the way i present myself, a little arrogrant. but, i try to be relax an d nice to ppl. anyways, i tried. i try to open myself. i don't try to make ppl feel uncomfortable. well, i was there, two guys caught my eyes. ;) we'll just leave it at that. i should have taken my chance to strike up a conversation. considering my age, i'm not getting any freaking younger, i need to have balance in my life. my other side of life is a success, why can't this other side be as successful. :D so, yes, that's what i'm saying to myself.


my summer vacation is finally all booked. i saved up enough to have my family go on vacation. i wanted one for myself as well. i've been looking forward to this vacation for over two years now. i've always wanted to go to cali to see what all the fun is. i don't want to get my hopes up too high, otherwise, i'll be disappointed. and, we definitely don't want that. so, i'm looking forward to seeing hot guys and hot surfers. cali, here we come :D, rather, hot guys here we come. :D


that's all folks. thanks for reading.

**early thoughts**
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: zaza
Topic: daily thoughts
A Song for my Feeling


i woke up at 11am. today is president day. in 2 days, it's one of my biggest day. i have to prepare for it. i need both luck and prepardness.


i woke up slightly happy today. listening to this song makes me even happy. positive thinking. i need to think sunny. cute songs always makes me happy. i'm playing this song again. i can't for the spring season to come. then summer. i can't wait for this summer. we're going to see some cute surfers. :-D now, i'm definitely looking forward to that. ;-)

the mystery behind the mystery
Mood:  quizzical
Shania - Kiss Me
This song is cute. I like instrumental and the way Shania sings it.


mystery behind it all...
my true thoughts will be revealed in the following...
[random thoughts]

i consume the darkness with reason.
my desolate dune of comfort.
to hide from reality.
to run away my true confrontation.
my remote mediation.

--------------------------

journey within...
the wind travels as nature takes it.
can't avoid.
can't intervene.
can't run-away.
wind travels without a path.
no specifics.
no duration.
no length.
wind travels as one.
without a body.



without features.
without limbs.
wind travels given course.


---------------------

a black silhouette in the darkness.

u have no answer.
u look for answer.

anyways, i'm tired now. i'm going to sleep soon. i'll continue to dream. the mystery will continue on. until the wind travels my direction, i'll revert to reality. til then, we'll meet only in our dream.

right now...anger is raging inside. i hate the FUCK PPL AROUND ME. FUCKING DAMN WORLD. I WANNA SHOOT THE FUCK OUT OF THEM. MOTHER F'ING WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DIE ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SO F'ING TIRED OF ALL THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hanging...that idea just sounds pleasing. ocean. i want to be wash away by the ocean. i wanna be lost forever. life ends here...i wish. if others can be selfish, why can't i? if others can have their way, why can't i? who's in this with me? it'll be nice to have a partner go through death with u. :D

Mood:  don't ask
as i was riding back home, i looked out and saw a big hill with trees, i thought what a good way to hang yourself. when anger turns inward...hanging, jumping off a bridge into the water. i just want to go away. seriously, i hate this world.

Mood:  special
Topic: daily thoughts
'la la la, chan ruk teur,' just like this song by Bua Chompoo.


la la la. i have nothing on my mind except my daydreaming thoughts and my study. i need focus on the latter for the time being. i'm just looking forward to the weekend. :D

o, i can't wait to see this 'lookout place.' i can't wait til relaxation time. la la la la.


can someone translate what these thais are saying to me...these cute guys are tell me something in their song :D.


la la la. 'kit teung yah chan kit teung'
night and i'm gonna run into the arms of my prince charming :D.